17.2.5 Load-Bearing Series: Essay 5
Related: Load-Bearing Series Introduction · Foundation Series Introduction · Essay 1 (Family) · Essay 2 (Faith) · Essay 3 (Community) · Essay 4 (Health)
Welcome
Passions, as I understand them, sit at the intersection of hobbies, healing, responsibility, inspiration, and learning. They are not simply pastimes. They serve as anchors that steady us and invitations that stretch us. They open the mind, soften the heart, and add meaning to each day. This pillar is not about chasing pleasure for its own sake. It points toward people, activities, and pursuits that cleanse the mind, broaden the soul, and remind us that life is more than a list of tasks to complete.
In a world that often praises busyness and grows restless with quiet, it can be tempting to sideline the interests that once brought life and energy. Not long ago, a young professional on LinkedIn wrote that marriage and a new baby meant it was time to put away his hobbies. His words echoed the line from Saint Paul, When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put an end to childish ways. He seemed convinced that adulthood requires abandoning the pursuits that once brought joy.
Encouragement was offered to him not to give up those interests entirely. The message was simple. Hobbies and passions are not distractions. They strengthen a life. He never replied. It would not be surprising if he quietly set his interests aside. Life fills quickly with work, marriage, parenting, community, and financial responsibilities. Yet one of the greatest gifts my parents offered our family was their genuine interest in who each of us was becoming and their willingness to let us pursue our own passions without living through us. Held with purpose, passions and interests keep a life whole.
Roots of Passion and Interest
The home of my childhood was rich with interests. That pattern came from parents who lived with curiosity long before I had words for it. My dad loved tying flies, fly fishing, spending time with friends, enjoying days at the cabin, reading, and entertaining. My mom loved art and music, from poetry and greeting card design to calligraphy, piano, and long road trips across the United States and Canada. These pursuits were not side notes. They were expressions of how they loved others and created beauty.
Each sibling carried distinct passions of their own. Some evolved into reading, crafting, and cooking, others into interior decorating and deck building. My own list grew quickly and has continued to grow throughout adulthood. Gardening, animals, photography, collecting, traveling, cooking, camping, hiking, movies, and writing have been steady companions. These interests did not compete with responsibility. They shaped the person I became and influenced how I show up in the world.
My parents also surrounded themselves with friends whose lives were full and textured. My dad, now eighty-nine, still meets friends for breakfast and lunch nearly every day, takes Pilates classes, and helps others with practical needs. That rhythm inspired me as a child. It inspires me even more now. Being proud of our children is a gift. I feel that pride deeply. Yet my hope is that my daughters see a dad and a mom who continue to grow, learn, and cultivate their own passions while cheering for theirs.
Looking back, my parents approach was intentional. They were interested in each of us without scripting our paths. They offered guidance without controlling our decisions. They created space for discovery, calm, and challenge. That quiet permission remains one of the greatest inheritances they offered.
Hobbies as Healing, Energy, and Contribution
Passions and interests offer more than enjoyment. They create energy that spills beyond ordinary activity and equip us to contribute meaningfully to the people around us. Cooking a meal, tending a garden, walking the dogs, or working on a creative project settles the mind. Ideas form more easily. Perspective returns. Enjoyment is part of the experience, but a deeper purpose often emerges. Reflection, prayer, problem solving, and renewal grow naturally from these moments.
The same pattern is visible in my wife. Her talent in cooking and craft-making amazes me. She can wrap a gift in an intricate origami style that still surprises me after all these years. When she first moved to America, she enrolled in a community college art program, partly to make friends, partly to stretch her mind, and partly to step into a new world. Chalk drawing, blue pen sketching, sewing, and other mediums became familiar to her. Watching her expand her skills made clear how essential it is for adults to keep learning and creating. These classes were not an escape from responsibility. They were expressions of it, because a more alive and engaged person becomes a better partner, parent, and friend.
Life can drift into ruts when responsibilities multiply. Without grounders such as family, faith, a sense of community, a commitment to health, and steady passions, it is easy to wonder quietly what all the effort is for. Passions and interests help answer that question. They bring purpose back into view.
People as a Lifelong Passion
Not all passions fit neatly into the category of hobbies. One of the most enduring passions in my life is people. Conversations with elders who share stories and hard-won wisdom carry a certain kind of grace. Listening to my daughters describe their joys and hopes for the years ahead is one of the true delights of my life. Meeting new people, hearing what lights them up, and learning what they care about often feels like stepping into a story that is already in motion.
Encountering someone with interests very different from my own often creates an immediate pull toward understanding their world. Occasionally I even wonder whether their passion might become mine. Over time, it has become easier to appreciate these differences without trying to absorb every new interest. Just as my parents did not live through me or my siblings, I do not want to live through other people. Learning from them and cheering for them feels more fitting.
People are not projects. They are gifts. Every conversation, every shared memory, and every glimpse into another person’s interests offers a reminder that the world is wider and richer than any one life can contain. That realization keeps me humble, grateful, curious, and engaged.
Watching My Daughters Grow Their Passions
One of the great joys of this period of my life is watching our daughters discover their own interests. One daughter has created her own version of a blog by folding stacks of paper into small books and filling each page with illustrations that tell vibrant stories. Another daughter produces imaginative drawings filled with detail and emotion. Our youngest, at three, is already learning letters and numbers, asking questions, and stretching her mind at a pace that is sometimes difficult to keep up with.
When they were very young, I began a box for each child. Meaningful mementos, drawings, and small treasures go into those boxes. One day they will be able to look back across the arc of their own stories and see how their interests grew. The number of art pieces is already astonishing. More boxes may be needed, but that is a privilege I welcome.
Cooking brings its own version of joy. Every time we make pancakes or prepare a meal, the girls want to participate. When I grill outside, they gather near. When I weed the garden or mow the lawn, they help by picking up sticks, asking questions, or offering raspberries as rewards for finishing our chores together. These moments are not only about completing the work. They teach the joy of contribution, the satisfaction of shared effort, and the quiet happiness of doing things together.
Piano lessons take place once a week. Music played an important role in my own childhood, and we are fortunate to have a patient and gifted teacher named Michelle whom the girls adore. Whether piano stays with them for a lifetime or serves as a bridge to something else, it introduces them to rhythm, discipline, creativity, and beauty. Hanna and I have promised ourselves that we will not overschedule their lives. My parents protected that space for me, and I remain grateful. At the same time, we hope the girls will carry grounding abilities as they grow, whether in golf or tennis, piano or another instrument, a love of art, a habit of reading, or a joy in theater and the performing arts.
At this stage, their futures feel as exciting to me as they do to them. Exploration, evolution, curiosity, and discovery feel natural and healthy. In the meantime, staying active in my own interests and supporting Hanna in hers helps us model the kind of life we hope they will one day create for themselves. These commitments, activities, and creative pursuits resemble living dreams that continue to take shape over time.
Pulling It Together: Key Practices for Impact (my KPIs)
In the Load-Bearing Series Introduction, I redefined the familiar term KPI as Key Practices for Impact. These practices help transform intention into daily life. Passions and interests are most life-giving when tended with purpose. They are not extras. They form part of the architecture that keeps a life strong.
Prioritize: Protect time and space for life-giving pursuits that renew energy and allow for more generous contribution to others.
Practice: Engage regularly in creative, relational, and learning activities. Choose outlets that stretch the mind and spirit, and model this for family.
Impact: Let passions and interests fuel imagination, energy, and presence so that life at home, at work, and in community is enriched with steadiness and joy.
Measurable Elements
- In daily life: Set aside regular time for key interests such as gardening, writing, reading, and time outdoors. Explore new experiences that broaden perspective.
- In marriage: Encourage Hanna’s interests. Support her creative pursuits and curiosities Create space to share ideas, projects, and inspiration.
- With our daughters: Protect unscheduled time for play, art, music, reading, and exploration. Support their interests without overscheduling or directing them.
- In community: Notice the passions of others. Ask about what they love, share helpful connections, and celebrate the diversity of interests around us.
Reflection Point
Passions and interests are living threads that keep a life vivid, generous, and awake to possibility.
The Lesson: Passions as Stewardship, Not Luxury
- Passions and interests are not childish things to discard. They are part of what sustains adults through the most demanding stretches of life.
- Healthy families support one another’s passions without controlling or living through them.
- Small, consistent practices keep the flame of interest alive and turn enjoyment into a channel for contribution.
Practical Takeaways
- Reclaim one small passion you have set aside. Begin with fifteen minutes a week and let it grow.
- Ask someone you love what they are most excited about learning or doing this season, and listen with genuine interest.
- Protect some unscheduled time in your week for play, creativity, or exploration, both alone and with those you love.
- Notice where your interests can serve others, whether through teaching, mentoring, volunteering, or simple encouragement.
Two Questions to Explore
- What passion or interest once brought you joy that you have quietly placed on the back burner, and what small step could you take to revisit it?
- Who in your life has a growing passion that you could notice, affirm, and support in a meaningful way?
Further Resources
- Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul by Stuart Brown. A thoughtful look at why play and joyful interests matter for both children and adults.
- The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything by Sir Ken Robinson. An exploration of how talent, passion, and purpose intersect in ordinary lives.
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. An invitation to live wholeheartedly, embrace imperfection, and make room for creativity, play, and courage.
Thank you for being part of my journey. Writing about the things that bring energy and wonder back into life helps me stay awake to possibility. May these words inspire you to nurture the passions that make you feel most alive and fully yourself.
Live. Lead. Love.
Billy
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Explore the Load-Bearing Series · Explore the Foundation Series · Essay 1 (Family) · Essay 2 (Faith) · Essay 3 (Community) · Essay 4 (Health)
Hi Billy,
This is another incredibly insightful piece. I agree with every point, and I’d love to comment on each one individually—though that would make my response way too long. Haha.
As someone born in the 70s and raised during tough times, we actually had fewer hobbies and interests. Fortunately, our parents gave us ample freedom and instilled an optimistic spirit, allowing us to thrive despite heavy academic burdens. Drawing from my own experience, I hope our next generation can have more hobbies and more freedom. Yet in China’s environment, external pressures are immense, limiting my son’s personal growth interests. Recently, though, we’ve adopted a different approach: even with limited time, we support him in doing what he enjoys. For instance, on weekends, we accept his invitations to play computer games together.
Another point: this month, I resumed studying a parenting course, with the first module focusing on life energy. When our life energy is low, rational communication becomes difficult, and our efficiency in learning and work diminishes. The key method to boost life energy is engaging in activities we enjoy. This is where hobbies become particularly important. They help us maintain positive emotions and reduce susceptibility to external influences.
In your article, I saw how excellent parenting shaped your outstanding self, and how you, in turn, apply these exceptional parenting methods to your daughters. It’s clear they will inherit your optimistic spirit, develop their own unique interests, lead fulfilling lives, and pass on your excellent parenting approach to their own children!
Thank you again for sharing your blog—I’m so proud of you!
Thank you for taking the time to share such a complete and heartfelt reflection, Joe. I am deeply grateful for both your honesty and your generosity. What you describe about growing up in China in the 1970s with fewer hobbies, yet more freedom and optimism, feels like an important distinction. Freedom of spirit often matters more than the number of choices available, and it is clear your parents gave you that gift.
I also appreciate your candor about the pressures your son faces in China. Naming those realities matters. What moved me most, though, was your decision to protect small pockets of joy within those constraints. Accepting Jason’s invitation to play computer games together is not a compromise. It is an act of presence, and a powerful signal that his interests and his voice matter. Those moments build trust and connection in ways no achievement ever could.
Your insight about life energy resonates deeply. When our energy is depleted, even love and logic struggle to find their way through. Hobbies, as you note, are not indulgences. They are restorative practices that help us remain grounded, patient, and less reactive to outside pressures. That awareness alone is a profound form of parenting wisdom.
Your words about my own parents and my daughters humbled me more than I can express. If there is any success I hope for them, it is not measured in outcomes, but in optimism, curiosity, and the confidence to follow what brings them alive. That these qualities might echo forward into how they someday raise their own children is a legacy worth striving for.
Thank you for your encouragement, your pride, and your thoughtful engagement with the essay. Conversations like this are exactly why I write.
What a great article, Billy. Your taste on purposeful passions reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, from Howard Thurman:
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
I have tried to do this with my own kids, and have seen the very positive results. Now I’m working on rediscovering those kinds of results for myself! Thanks again for the reminder and inspiration.
Allison, thank you so much for this thoughtful response. I love how you named the way you have already lived this out with your kids. That may be the most powerful part of all of this. We often recognize the wisdom long before we give ourselves permission to reclaim it for ourselves.
One other line from Howard Thurman feels fitting here: “There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself.” I think rediscovering passions later in life is often about learning to listen again, without guilt or apology.
I am grateful you shared this, and I am cheering you on as you rediscover what brings you alive. That work matters, for you and for everyone who learns from how you live.