3.1.2 Foundation Series: Essay 2
Related: Introduction to the Foundation Series · Essay 1
Welcome
My grandma’s question reframed my definition of success. This essay returns to that moment, adds the texture of our relationship, and explores what remains when titles and trophies fade. In the end, legacy is about people, memories, and the joy we share.
Purpose Is Shaped by Lasting Moments
One of the most grounding influences in my life was my Grandma Mary. She was steady and kind in the quiet ways that matter. I was fortunate to have her until I was twenty-six, and one of our final conversations still echoes within me.
A few days before she passed, I visited her at her assisted living home. She was ninety-four. We sat close. Her hand rested on mine. In her room, she asked a question I will never forget: “Billy, when you are ninety-four years old, what is really going to matter?”
She did not wait for me to answer. She smiled, then spoke with a gentle certainty that felt like a blessing.
- It will not be your job title.
- It will not be your house or your car.
- What will matter is the memories you have made, the contributions you have offered, the joy you brought to others, and the joy others brought to you.
At the time, I was ambitious and eager to prove myself. Her words stopped me. They did not shame my drive. They redirected it. From that day on, I began to see my career through a new lens.
The People, Not the Company
I have spent my entire professional life with one company. If you had asked me early on why I stayed, I might have said opportunity, stability, or loyalty. The truth runs deeper. It is not the company I love. It is the people.
When I think about the work I am proud of, I picture faces, not only projects. I remember late-night calls with colleagues and customers where we found solutions together. I remember writing and receiving handwritten notes after both difficult and joyful lessons. I remember the quiet moments after a loss when the only thing to do was show up and listen.
If I am blessed to reach ninety-four, I know this: the company will not be at my funeral. I hope the people will be. And I hope they will bring stories, not of my role or results, but of how they felt seen and encouraged, and that their spirits were lifted.
What I Want to Remember at Ninety-Four
I want to remember that I made time for the small things that turn into soul-feeding moments. Phone calls returned. Teams celebrated. Heartfelt apologies offered. Deep gratitude spoken out loud. I want to remember I protected dinners with my family and told my daughters the stories that help them know who they are. I want to remember I chose generosity over comparison, kindness over cleverness, and presence over performance.
I want to remember that I measured success with a simple ledger. Was I a kind, patient, supportive partner, parent, son, brother, friend, and servant leader? Did I bring joy to others and discover it freely in everyday moments? Did I leave people more hopeful than I found them? Did I live in alignment with what I said mattered?
The Lesson: Legacy Is About People, Not Titles
- It is not the corner office that endures, but the people whose lives we touch.
- It is not the résumé line item, but the legacy of generosity and love.
- Careers fade. Character remains.
- Spend your best energy on relationships that outlast any role.
Practical Takeaways
- Make a weekly memory. Pick one small thing and do it with someone you love, then write one sentence about it.
- Give one specific thank-you every day. Name what the person did and why it was meaningful.
- Keep a legacy list. Five names you are investing in, and one way you will add joy for each of them this week.
Two Questions to Explore
- When you are ninety-four, what do you hope will have mattered most?
- Who do you hope will be there to celebrate your life and legacy, and what can you do this week to invest in that relationship?
Further Resources
- Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. A modern classic on meaning and the relationships that outlast achievement.
- The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware. Field notes that help you reverse engineer a life you will be grateful to have lived.
- Essentialism by Greg McKeown. A disciplined method for focusing on what truly matters so your calendar reflects your values.
Thank you for being part of my journey. May you find joy in the people and moments that matter most.
Live. Lead. Love.
Billy
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Explore the Foundation Series · Essay 1
love this billy! Great thoughts. Grandma’s are always so wise.
Tom
Tom, thank you. Grandmas really are wise. Grateful this resonated, and thankful for our friendship!
Thanks Billy,
What you say is so true! It’s the people. I recognized your potential, and kindness when you still in your youth. Your experience and wisdom is priceless. Keep on writing. Joel still treasures your marsupial book you gave him. Dormomo.
Dennis
Dennis, thank you. Your early encouragement meant more than you know, and I am grateful you saw potential and kindness in that kid. Hearing that Joel still treasures the marsupial book made my day. Please tell him I said hello. You are right: it is the people. I will keep writing.
I always thought you were unique Billy (you can take take many different ways – haha!). Now I KNOW it! I treasure the stories you shared with me years ago – I still think about them. Love your posts. Don’t stop!
Julie, you made me smile. I’ll take unique in the best way. Thank you for the kind words and for remembering those old stories. Your encouragement means a lot, and I’ll keep writing. If one story still sticks with you, I’d love to hear which one.
Absolute Gem from Grandma Mary! This is a question that is so simple yet so profound. Totally appreciate this and definitely something i’ll try to practice.
Viet, thank you. Grandma Mary had a gift for simple questions that go deep. I’m glad it resonated. If you try it this week, let me know one small choice it shapes.
Love this Billy! Beautifully written and such wise words. Faith, family, love and concern for others are just what we need more of in this world. I’m so glad i got to work with you over the years, to get to know you and to call you friend.
Gloria, thank you for this. I’m grateful for the years we worked together and for your friendship. Here’s to choosing faith, family, love, and care in the small moments every day.
Billy’s essays are always inspiring, as this one does. Many equate success with money and title, but that’s not the case. I wholeheartedly agree with what Billy’s grandmother said: What will matter is the memories you have made, the contributions you have offered, the joy you brought to others, and the joy others brought to you.
Billy’s final advice in the piece is also valuable. I need to start thinking and taking action: How can I create good memories for my family? Who will I invest in, and how can I bring them value and happiness?
Thank you, Joe! I loved our conversation this morning. I also treasure the miles and the conversations we have shared over the years.
You captured the heart of the essay: success is measured in people, not titles. Grandma Mary’s question still keeps me honest. Your prompts are spot on. To make it real this week, pick one small step: plan a simple family memory (a walk-and-talk with Joy and Jason evening), write one specific thank you, or invest an hour in someone who needs it. Tell me which one you choose when we reconnect next week! You’re awesome!
Great share, Billy! Inspiring!
Thank you, Slava!
Billy, this latest blog brought back many memories. Mother (your grandma Mary), was very wise indeed. But she never flaunted it. She (and dad) gave me my earliest values that I still cling to today. Thank you for bringing this story forward.
Dad
Dad, your words mean a lot. You and Mom lived this lesson in small (and big) ways that shaped us.
Billy, You live daily, the wise counsel of your Grandmother Mary and all of the thoughtful suggestions you’ve listed!
I have had the opportunity to have known you since you were 3 years of age.
Not only do you live your values, you live them with such joy!
Those of us who have been given the opportunity to know and love you are blessed.
Delphine
Delphine, I am deeply moved by your words. Grandma Mary’s counsel shaped me, but friends like you have kept me true to it. Thank you for the years of support, the gentle corrections, and the joy you bring. I feel blessed to be known and loved by you.
Cheers Billy. Old T. Boone Pickens followed his grandmother’s advice too. Experience counts for something.
Appreciate this, Leon, and for all your wisdom and support over the years.